Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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