Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
