Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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