That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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