You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
