So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
