i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need a beard to bite.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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