Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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