Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
