we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
