Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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