we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
no you cant smoke seaweed
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
