I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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