there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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