Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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