watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize