he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I fill condoms, not promises.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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