no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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