the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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