i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
