i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
