they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
