Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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