Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
