This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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