Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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