Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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