So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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