the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
tell me about the eggs
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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