That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
