My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize