Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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