I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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