Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
