Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
literally had 100 drinks last night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize