Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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