I love black thongs
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
