planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
