Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
