addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I faked an abortion last night.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
