Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
