butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
