put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
one two three fourrrrnication!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
