Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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