I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize