i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
