was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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