i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think I just sharted jello shots
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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