I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
