the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
