Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize