Non-Jews are for practice
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
