I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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