i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
