its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
