That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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