She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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