I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
