dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
