...so i touched it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I love having hate sex.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
