His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
